


Goodbye

by Chemicalmuffin



Series: I'm a what? [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Other, Stand Alone, it's gonna be a part of a Stiles is a witch fic, yes this is a "how mama" died fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:49:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chemicalmuffin/pseuds/Chemicalmuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I started writing a "Stiles is a witch with body tatoos" fic that very possible would contain some Sterek later and then I just had to start at the beginning. So this is how Mama Stilinski died and how everything got better or at least back to almost normal afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of a series, but can be read as a stand alone! Thank you to the amazing [vivrelirenager ](http://vivrelirenager.tumblr.com/) for going over it and correcting it!

Stiles remembers it like it was yesterday. Probably always will.  
His mom had been a bit frustrated with him. Nothing unusual since Stiles had never been an easy child. He does not remember what this particular frustration was about. Maybe about school. Maybe about cleaning his room. What Stiles does remember is that he was yelling at her when she suddenly had broken down on to the floor.  
“Call your dad.” She had whispered, panic in her voice. Stiles couldn’t move. He had made his mom sick. He had yelled and hurt his mom.  
“Stiles.” She sounded more urgent.  
He remembers getting the phone, calling his dad, Michael, he has no idea what he had said. He had never told him later, but it was enough to make his dad call 911 and come home immediately.  


His mom was passed out on the floor when he returned to the kitchen. He remembers going up to her and asking her to wake up, hugging her. He knows that he kept mumbling “I killed mom.” And “I made her dead. I yelled and made her dead.” over and over again, because that’s what he believed. Still does to a certain degree.  


The paramedics rushed her to the hospital and Stiles followed with his dad. His mom had suffered a minor stroke. In the waiting room, his dad tried to calm him down. It was then that he had his first panic attack. His 6 year old self was convinced that he had hurt his mom by yelling and being difficult and that those would be last words his mom would ever hear.  
“Mom is gonna need surgery, Stiles, but she is gonna be fine. Do you wanna see her now?” His dad asked.  
Stiles didn’t. Scared he would hurt her again. In the end his dad managed to take him into the room.  


He stills remembers his mom lying in the bed. She looked different. She also couldn’t move some of the left part of her body, including her hand. Stile now knows that was normal for a stroke, but back then it had scared him greatly. First thing his mom did, was to pull him into her bed and assure him over and over again that nothing of this was his fault and that he didn’t need to worry.  


Then the surgery went wrong, some complications. His Mom suffered from her second stroke during this time. Stiles had just left the room to get something to drink. It was the only reason why he left his moms side during those days. Stiles knows now that it wasn’t normal to remain with his mom all the time, but having your dad as the deputy, not Sheriff back then, apparently brought some advantages.  
Stiles came back and found his mom surrounded by nurses and doctors. The second stroke left her in bed, machines attached to her, beeping. She didn’t respond anymore. Michael couldn’t get his son away from her. Stiles knows his dad was overwhelmed. Stiles wouldn’t let go, refused to go to school or leave the hospital. After the first week, his dad started to bring books, so that Stiles could read them to his mom, sometimes Michael would read to both of them. During the third week he had to start working again at least on some days to be able to keep on paying the hospital bills.  


Stiles is never going to forget the day his mom died. He was yelling at his dad who just told him that the machines were the only thing that were keeping his mom alive, and that they might need to turn the machines off. Being 6 years old, Stiles couldn’t believe what his dad was suggesting. He knows that he threw something at his dad at some point when he could hear the machines behind him going crazy. It wasn’t his mom waking up. It was his mom going into cardiac arrest.  


After that, Stiles became very quiet. He was barely talking, especially not during the funeral. He hated how his mom looked in the coffin. He hated that her smile is gone. Most of all he hated himself. He still does sometimes.  
His dad broke down, too. Overwhelmed with the death of the love of his life, the fact that his once quirky and full of energy son was turning into a quiet, barely communicating person that blamed himself for the death of his mother and he couldn’t do anything to help him. Worst of all he couldn’t stay home with Stiles after a while. Stiles spent a lot of time at Scott’s place without actually talking to Scott.  


At some point he went back to school, but he barely noticed anything. He was just floating through life. For a while it seemed like it would never get better. His dad started drinking. Stiles blamed himself for it, too, because he wasn’t helping his dad, was avoiding any interactions. Stiles sometimes forgot to breath ,and most of the time didn’t tell his dad because he didn’t want him to worry more.  


One morning he got up and his dad was sitting at the kitchen table. There was a letter in front of him. Unopened. It was from his mom. It stayed on the kitchen table for almost a week, unopened. No one dared to open it. It seemed sacred somehow.  
One Saturday they found themselves together for dinner, at the kitchen table, which rarely happened anymore. Usually his dad was in his study, eating while Stiles sat alone in the kitchen. Suddenly his dad took the letter and just opened it. Stiles almost stopped him. He watched his dad. Watched how tears form in his eyes. He hadn’t seen his dad cry since the funeral. Well, he hadn’t seen his dad cry sober since the funeral. He handed the letter to Stiles, once he was done. He is scared of reading the letter. He is scared someone that his mom changed her mind and has finally realized that Stiles killed her.  


“Hello my love and my little monkey,  
I’m writing this before the surgery, because the doctors, though they sound sure that I’ll be fine, they don’t know everything. Since you are reading this, I can only assume the worst. Know that I miss you guys just as much as you both miss me.  
I’m so very scared of what will happen with you two, without me there. I’m scared that you will lose each other.  
Stiles, I still don’t blame you and I will never blame you. Neither will your dad. Nothing of this was your fault. Sometimes the human body just doesn’t function anymore as it’s supposed to. You are such an amazing boy and you have such a bright and wonderful future before you and I don’t want you to lose that. You still have so many adventures waiting for you.  
Michael, I love you so much and I’m so sorry that I can’t be there anymore, but you can’t give up now. I want you two to take the road trip that we always talked about. I’m certain that it will help you guys, that it will help you heal.  
I will always be there with you, no matter where you go, I will always be there. I love you both so very much,  
Mom”  


They took that trip that summer. They first traveled up to the college where his parents had met. His dad showed him around campus. He told him stories, most of them funny, because that’s just how his mom was. Afterwards they took a small road trip across the country towards home, the same his parents took after finishing college. His dad told Stiles many stories and they both cried a lot, but it helped. It brought them back together. It got better, not perfect, but definitely better than it used to be before. His dad still drinks sometimes, especially on that day, but he tries to hide it from Stiles. Stiles gets obsessed with keeping his dad healthy and trying to be the best son he can be. He also never yells at his dad. Or anyone else.  
Sometimes he still forgets how to breath, but no one needs to know that. Especially not his dad.  


School gets better , too. So is Stiles friendship with Scott which quickly gets back to being as great as it ever was, because Scott is just an awesome friend.  
And then his world changes again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a doctor, nor do I have experience with strokes, so this is all fake and very probably not very realistic!


End file.
